That's not to say I wasn't overjoyed, I was, but I was also a bit overwhelmed. Even with having the most amazing colleague taking over my class and no immediate pressure at work, the tenure clock never stopped ticking - loudly - in my ear.
Today, on the anniversary of my son's birth, I've learned a very valuable lesson -- how to ignore the ticking. Or like any working parent, how to balance work and family. For me that means focusing on using my work time most efficiently by prioritizing better, minimizing distraction (door closed more often), and saying no (not just to extra work assignments, but to leisurely trips to get coffee and extended lunches with colleagues). I try not to think about work when I'm home and vice versa. And most days, I'm satisfied. So, much like TucsonMama, I ask you this -- what advice would you have for new parents striving to reach a balance?
I would say, "decide what your goals are and what is important to you and don't pay attention to what anyone else has to say about it. Own it." In this world, it doesn't matter what you do, someone is going to have an opinion about it. They may think that you should listen to them and do it their way. I have been learning in the past year that I really need to just listen to my own heart, because that is all that really matters. Sure, everyone else would a choose different path, but I have to be true to my own path, my own desires, my own ambitions and my own family.
ReplyDeleteI think that it is amazing that you are balancing your family and life in academics. It's hard... I see it in my husband's life. He really struggles some days with the pull on both sides. And he wasn't even a pregnant/nursing mom. ;-)
That is great advice, Shermanim. It takes a very strong person to stay true to oneself. You have definitely been an inspiration for me!
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